The holidays can be stressful for many reasons, and that stress can double when in a relationship. Whether you are newly dating or married, the holidays bring an added layer of anxiety. We have to manage multiple families, coordinate extra plans and travel, and feel the added pressure of being “on” at all times.
For those that are newly together, this may be the first time your partner and family meet which alone adds the pressure to impress, to make sure no “secrets” or embarrassing stories are told, and perhaps even means navigating differing political views and opinions for the first time.
While some of these factors are inevitable and will continue for years into a marriage, we can alleviate some of this stress by simply being prepared for it. And the best part is, we have our partner with us right by our side along the way.
So here is your expert curated toolkit to keep in your back pocket this holiday season.
· If you take one thing away from this, please let it be the importance of communication with your partner. Express your needs and continually check in on each other.
· Don’t leave anything to be a surprise. Prep your partner and ask questions so you feel prepared entering whatever the festivity may be. This could be dos and don’ts with certain people, a list of names to remember. Anything that might take a little stress or pressure off either of you.
· Find and discuss a balance between festivities early - so often couples will argue about who’s event they need to attend so be proactive and again, communicate so you can get ahead of an argument.
· Try to find some alone time with your partner. I know this can be hard with all the hustle and bustle, but this is such a beautiful time in a relationship where you can start your own traditions together. Take the time to enjoy and appreciate each other this holiday season!
· Take extra care of yourself so you can show up for your partner and your families in a way you will feel proud of. Stick to your sleep schedule, squeeze in a workout, and find moments to be alone and take a breather when you need it.
· Focus on listening - everyone loves to talk about themselves, and the best impression is usually made by being a good listener and saying less. People will leave a conversation where they talked the entire time and say “wow they were great” strictly because you listened attentively to what they had to say and not realize you barely said anything.
· Limit your drinking - it can be so easy to over drink when we are nervous or uncomfortable, but this often leads to feelings of regret and a lack of control. We are most confident and secure when we are in control of our behaviors and emotions and alcohol can impair these functions. This is also a time we want to be on and sharp and the last thing we need is a groggy hangover getting in the way.
· Plan ahead - there are so many factors to the holidays (travel plans, what to wear, what to cook, what to bring, what to say, what not to say) the list goes on and on. The more you plan, the less surprise. And the less surprise, the less stress that comes with it. So, plan ahead and be prepared.
· Start your day with a walk - walking is a proven stress reliever and over the holidays this can be the perfect way to either escape and get some alone time or use it as a fun little activity with friends and family. Whether done solo or with company, light movement can significantly improve our mood and regulate stress.