Over the holidays I was home with my parents who are very well-versed with Instagram. Both spending significantly more time on it then I do, and yet when asked about how they feel it impacts them, they have nothing but positive things to say. My mom expressed how it allows her to stay in touch with old friends and learn cool tips and tricks here and there. She says it keeps her connected with people she may otherwise lose touch with. My dad loves the funny videos and seeing the various musicians, athletes, artists, etc. that fill his screen. He is continually amazed by the unique talents many individuals have. Surely, they must feel some of the negative impacts that the younger generations experience. Comparison? Envy? Inadequacy? But they don’t…perhaps it’s because of the content they see?
My curiosity around this topic was brought to light once again this week. While at an event, the topic of confidence and feeling sexy was brought up. To no surprise, the comparison trap of social media was quickly at the forefront of the conversation. Yet this time, it was different. In a room of women around the age of 40, they spoke about the way they had already found their confidence in themselves and developed a healthy understanding of comparison before social media was a part of their day to day lives. They reflected on how they felt there have always been societal standards of beauty, what the “perfect body” looks like, and the dream lifestyle, and yet it didn’t seem to impact them the same way social media impacts the younger generations today.
As a therapist that specializes in working with young adults, particularly around confidence and self-esteem, I continuously search to understand the influence between social media and our mental health. Specifically, how it impacts our view of self and the role we believe we play in society. As I have continued to reflect on these two moments, I have come to find a new realization regarding why social media plays such a large role in the declining mental health of younger generations. While there are of course many points to be made about photoshop, cyber bullying, etc. this serves as one I think is often overlooked.
Before social media, there were still magazines, television, movies, and advertisements filled with all the most beautiful people decked out in the glitz and glamour. We still idealized the celebrities of the world and yet it always felt far enough away that it didn’t consume you. The stars of the world were few and far between. We saw snippets into their lives only through the tabloids and pop culture news. Some articles were positive, and others were purely hot gossip. They were the models, movie stars, rockstars, popstars, and artists of the world that we recognized for their talent on screen and on stage. Today, its everyone, everywhere, sharing their lives like they are their own magazine. But this time, they get to choose what they publish. No more TMZ or paparazzi exposing the good, the bad, and the ugly. We are our own paparazzi and publisher behind our screens.
Our Instagram pages are a curated, perfectly written magazine showcasing the greatest parts of our lives, and little of the reality that goes on behind closed doors. One of the greatest challenges for younger generations, is that these “celebrities” are not models, movie stars, rockstars, popstars, and artists of the world, they are just people. Just like them. Yet they appear to have so much more - more beauty, more fun, more friends, more money, and more happiness. And what makes this even more complicated is the rate and quantity at which we consume these digital magazines. You don’t have to wait for them to premiere, buy tickets, or go to the store to buy it. In fact, it’s free and available for consumption all day, every day. It never runs out, and it never ends. We are no longer comparing ourselves to the supermodels and iconic figures, we are comparing ourselves to each other. But only what we choose to show each other. I wonder if this is exactly why my parents and the women at the event are less impacted by social media? They follow their friends, watch the odd silly video, and then move on…